Jucy Africa

The honeymoon stage of your courtship, relationship or whatever you call it when you first start dating is quintessentially the most important time. While you’re excited to have met someone new or actually moving on to a new part of your life, it’s a time where you have to make sure you don’t ruin things by getting too far ahead of yourself. There’s nothing that anyone can do about what goes on in your head about your new dating adventure, but the goal is to keep those things from coming out. Once those thoughts turn into actions, things go awry. Here are the Five Things You Should Never Do When You First Start Dating:

1. Facebook stalk them

It seems as though most people’s first reaction to meeting someone and finding out their last name is to immediately “friend” them on Facebook. After the friendship is complete, ladies go straight into your pictures looking for any recurring faces… like your ex-girlfriend. The men go straight into your pictures looking for Spring Break pictures. Both of these are wrong. Facebook is a great social networking tool, but it shouldn’t replace good old-fashioned getting to know one another.

2. Follow them on twitter

Think for a moment what Twitter is about. It’s a status updating platform for people to tell the world everything they’re thinking. While it may seem like a good idea to follow the person you just started dating, don’t you think that’s rushing the process a bit? When people tweet, they don’t necessarily tweet from the heart. There’s also a loss of tone. How do you know if he or she is actually joking around or playing with their friends? You can easily misinterpret them to be a jerk or rude when in reality you just crashed their @’s trying to get an inside scoop.

3. Ask invasive questions

Ask anybody who knows me and they’ll tell you that I believe in boundaries. I’m a little more complex than most guys because I’m very careful not to ask questions that would lead to similar questions being asked back. With that said, when you start to ask questions like, “Why did you break up with your ex-girlfriend?” on the first date, or “So I wanted to ask you about [that embarrassing story from college that they’ve somehow uncovered by doing a deep dive on your past],” you’re way out of line. When people ask me when is the right time to bring up the tough questions, I always say, “When they’re necessary, not when you feel like you need to know.”

4. Rush things

The easiest way to get to a meaningful relationship is to develop the relationship organically. Organically means naturally and at a normal pace without any additives. I understand that no one likes idle time. I also understand that people are goal-oriented. But for Pete’s sake, don’t rush the relationship! Take your time, give both yourselves time to want to be in the midst of a relationship. You can’t go from dinner on Friday night, to an early morning text about brunch on Saturday, to “how do you feel about going to 12 o’clock service with me on Sunday?” Take your time, you’ll scare the other person away if you start smothering them out the gate.

5. Set absurd rules

Steve Harvey time! Let’s get this out of the way right now, Steve Harvey and his 90-day rule is the dumbest sh*t on the planet. You might end up waiting 90-days to have sex with someone. But if that’s a hard rule in your book, you got problems. Let me break this down for you.

If you tell me you’re trying a 90-day rule before you have sex with me, I’m going to ask you a question: “Why?” You’re going to attempt to answer that question and no matter what you say in your head, I’m going to think that in your past you’ve had problems keeping your legs closed. If you need a rule as silly as that one to make sure you make the right decisions when it comes to sex, we can’t date. I’m not saying that you should have sex on the first date. This is when you should have sex: when you’re ready, you trust him, and you know you won’t regret it.

Guys, you don’t get off easy either (||). I’m snitching. These are our top three rules that make no damn sense:

Don’t talk or chill with each other two days in a row.

If I don’t have sex with her by the third date, it’s a wrap.

Seasonal barriers to relationship. Oh you know what I mean, you’ll be with the girl of your dreams in July, but tell yourself, “I’m going to wait until after Labor Day to wife it down.”

Wow! That was very interesting. Going to open the comments so you lovely Jucy people can share your thoughts. Keep it tidy!

What does being  a mother mean to you?

Being a mother means every decision I make affects my children. It means God trusted me and I refuse to think He was wrong in doing so. It also introduced me to stretch marks. Fun times

You are a first time mom  with two adorable bundles. Please share this experience with us?

Being pregnant with my twins was scary to say the least. I was on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. Carrying identical twins is very risky, as I was told constantly !!! The most beautiful thing about being a mother to these precious souls is the joy they have brought to both our families and they personify the man I love !!

What are the challenges of being a young, working mother and wife?

The most challenging bit of being a young working mother and wife being away from them is very difficult, hence you’ll find me talking about them at work and hope I don’t annoy people. I think being a working mom and a wife means wearing several hats at once and making sure your juggling skills are in point, which means a good support structure !!!

What are your proud mommy moments?

My proudest moments of being a mom have to be having beautiful, happy, healthy children. Nothing beats that. You sleep easier…and when they finally called Mama. I cried for hours. You have to understand how special that was for me especially since they said Tata first !!!

What are your dreams for your sons?

My dreams for my sons are so much bigger than them. I can only ask for a good, full and healthy life.

What are can’t you imagine your life without?

God. When I lost my mother my faith dwindled and when I found Him again, my family grew and my heart found peace.

What have your sons taught you about life and being a mother?

My sons have taught me to look at world differently, as if I’m seeing it for the first time. They’ve taught to see the shine in rust and to trust that everything works out as it should.

Do you consider having more children?

I would definitely love to have more children……Ha ha ha. I would love to have a girl but not right now. Mr Kani has already done the research on how to conceive her….

Being away from your children must be hard….

Being away from my children is terrible. I actually sit and go through photos and videos if them on my phone when I’m on set.

What is love?

Love is letting go of all preconceived notions of a four letter word. It is difficult but most things that are worth fighting always are. Love is family. Love is the way he looks at you from across the room. Love is your favourite ice-cream. Love is what you want it to be !!!

Being  a working mother to two boys could be consuming,  how do you cope?

The support system I have…Has big strong shoulders and carries a lot of my burdens.

Happy mothers day to…

Happy mothers day to…. my angels, my mothers. One in heaven and the other my mother in-law.

My Sisters measuring my tummy

Thembisa Mdoda @Tembisa

Actress / Arts Journalist / Feature’s writerI am an actress and a writer so I’m currently shooting a film at the moment. It’s a romantic comedy for etv and I’m an arts journalist and features writer for Blaque Magazine so go get a copy(shameless plug there). Once I’m done with the film, I go into vigorous, voice training for a musical theatre production and that’s all I can say at the moment. I am also writing a play that I hope will take theatre to the next level, it’s stressful but I love it

What does being a mother mean to you?

Being a mother in this day and age means dealing with issues my mother didn’t even think of dealing with. I don’t just need to teach my children discipline and correct values, but I need to equip them with what they need to be self-actualised individuals. So that situations with the potential of leading to harassment, abuse, bullying, or complacency are not a factor for them.

Tell us about your first pregnancy…

When I learned of my first pregnancy I was extremely excited! I’d always known I wanted kids, and I was with the person I knew I wanted to spend my life with.Being a mother to my children means being myself, but a better version of me. Nothing motivates me like my children. I call them my angels because I truly feel like they’re God’s avenue to communicating with me.

What are some of the challenges you have faced as a working mother?

The most challenging bit of being a working mother is reminding yourself that you are good enough. Insecurities can surface when you see stay-at-home moms and what they’re able to do with their time. School projects or bakerman/bakerlady days can be torture! However, we all do the best we can for our kids, and that’s what you need to remember.

What are some of the lessons your children have taught you about life and being a mom?

A)Being able to let go and go with the flow. The house won’t always be as neat as you like. Things won’t always go according to plan.

B)At the end of the day,the world isn’t as important as my kids.I may never get appreciated out there,but to my kids I am a Goddess.

C)Be myself, fear no one, and be honest about how I feel. Kids are the most honest individuals on the planet, and they will always express their feelings. We just don’t listen sometimes. They also view everyone in a non-discriminatory way, reminding us that we are all the same.

What are your dreams for your children?

My dreams for my children are that they have trust funds so they have the choice of working for themselves and the betterment of fellow blacks who have not had the same opportunities as them.

…and your support system?

The support system I have is phenomenal! Between my husband, sister, mother, and brother – I know I don’t need to panic, ever. Traveling without my children sometimes is relaxing. I need time away from them sometimes, and I’ve learnt to not feel bad about taking it. I end up missing them though, after day 4!

From your upbringing, which lessons and values do you want to impart on your children?

My upbringing and lessons my parents taught me, are those I impart to my children. Those are paying attention to their strengths, and encouraging them. Showing them the importance of giving. Rearing them as a unit, in teaching them to stick together instead of competing with one another. My sister, brother, and I are very close, I want the same for my kids.

Would you like to still have more children?

Noooo! I’m good in this department. I have a boy and a girl, so what more do I need.

What are some of your proud mommy moments?

My proudest Mommy moment was- there’s a few. When my son sang a Justin Bieber song on stage during his first ever school concert! I cried of course! When my daughter brought home a body image drawing from school. It looked so advanced for her age. These are just a few, at the top of my head.

I thank God everyday for Him being in my life. I attribute my family to Him. I am truly blessed.

Being a young mother and wife in media with sometimes crazy hours means, I don’t have as much time to unwind. I’m on the go from the moment I wake, till the early night. I must add that I work the best hours though, because I’m able to take my kids to school every morning, pick them up in the afternoons, I prepare their lunch boxes, I cook their dinner, I oversee homework, and can attend sports and extra mural events. Bath time, bed time I’m there. So I think I have enough time for them.

Happy Mothers day to Mrs. Beda- the woman whose strength can move mountains. And to Mrs Matsaunyane snr- thanks for raising an incredible man who I call my husband.

Asanda Matsaunyane (@Mount_Asander) is a News writer and reader on SAfm, and a freelance radio presenter on Channel Africa. She provides training for individuals interested in entering the radio broadcasting field, or those who wish to learn more about this field for the benefit of their companies. Born and raised in the small town of Idutywa in the old Transkei area, this lady always had ambitions beyond her surroundings and norms. Asanda Matsaunyane has, under her achievements, a BA degree in Media Studies and Psychology, from the University of the Witwaterstrand. She has also studied Sociology as well as Film, Visual, and Performing Art, which indicates her broad interests. Her business achievements include, Launching a clothing line in 2007-Fungi Clothing and Maternity, which has now branched into catering, home products, and training; Nominee for MTN Radio Award-News Reader of the Year 2011; Current Affairs show presenter-Motswako Media in 2010; Award recipient of POWA Women of the year 2009-for her work as a volunteer in women and youth empowerment: Training facilitator- POWA 2007, Newsletter Editor for People Opposing Women Abuse 2006, Voice over artist for Wits TV 2002, Miss S. A Teen finalist 1999.

Carmel Fisher is one of South Africa’s sexiest entertainers. Having broken into the entertainment industry when she made her acting debut on the youth soapie Backstage as Roxanne. Carmel is also a model and dancer. We interviewed her and her partner Dion.

Boniswa: Welcome to Jucy Africa. Last month was February, we celebrated Valentines day  and all things love. When did you guys meet, and how?

Carmel: We met in April 2011. I was visiting venues to decide which entertainment venue to use for my Survivor exit party and we happened to meet at his venue, SET, in Rosebank which just happened to meet all my requirements. The same was proven to be true of the owner as time passed…

JA:  How long have you guys been together?

Carmel: It’ll be 2 years this April

JA: What did you guys do to celebrate Valentines day?

Carmel: We loved and loved some more…. Took  time to express how we feel about each other. I left the day’s arrangements to Dion to surprise me and he went all out!

JA:  What are the qualities you admire the most about each other?

Carmel: I love Dion’s directness, integrity, spontaneity, charm, adventurous streak & progressive, positive energy.

Dion: I love Carmel’s ambition, tenacity, determination in achieving her goals & playfulness.

JA: ..and the most annoying qualities?

Carmel: Dion is highly impulsive which can be a great adventure yet throw any planning out the window…

Dion: Carmel is a free spirit so there’s an air of mystery & unpredictability about her…

JA: Briefly tell us about your backgrounds

Carmel:I am a passionate Actress who grew up in a coloured township called Horseshoe in Johannesburg. I trained as a ballet dancer for 15 years, attended National School of Arts, competed a tertiary degree at U.J (Corporate Communication), have travelled extensively and am an only sister to an older brother & a daughter to 2 eccentric but traditional parents.

Dion: I’m the eldest of 4 boys, born in Johannesburg, South Africa but lived most of my life in North Africa & Europe, & currently resides in Sandton, South Africa. I graduated as an Architectural Technician in 1991. On completion of my studies,I worked as an Architect and Project Manager, in the construction industry with his late father, and simultaneously ventured into the Hospitality and Entertainment industries.  Having owned, decorated & remodelled 19 social & corporate venues in the past 20 years, Dion I have an innate ability to spot opportunities, anticipate trends & incorporate progressive global influences

JA: Who is the most romantic of the two of you?

Carmel &Dion: It’s a tie…

JA: What do you think has made your relationship what it is today?

Carmen: Respect, honesty, acceptance, healthy boundaries, basic compatibility & effective communication.

JA: If you were to write a book about your journey together, what would be the title and why?

The CAR-DIO Adventures…(CAR-DIO takes the first 3 letters of each of our names)

JA: Dion, how challenging is it dating someone in entertainment, also as hot as Carmel?

Dion:  I knew what I was getting myself into when I got involved with her, and her physical beauty is only the cherry on the top for the wonderful, fun & down-to-earth person she is. I take it as a great compliment when she gets the attention of other admirers.

JA: Carmel does your being in the limelight affect your personal relationships?

Carmel: Not at all…. I love sharing the spotlight with my beau. He is also very open-minded and secure within himself.

JA: If you were to go on a romantic getaway here in Africa, where would you go and why?

Dion: Morocco. It is full of culture, naturally beautiful scenic surroundings & interesting people.

JA: Carmel, you are in entertainment, what are you currently working now?

Carmen:I am currently filming as a lead on a new TV series for SABC 3, to be broadcast in the first week of April. I also MC, model and own a PR company.

JA:  What have been the highlights of your career?

Carmen: Winning the ‘Backstage Superstar’ competition, in 2006, that landed me a lead role on the E-TV youth soapie, participating in the 2011 edition of SurvivorSA: Maldives- Celebs vs. Plebs and filming as a lead in the rhino-poaching feature film ‘SNARE’ that enjoyed an exclusive release in aid of fund-raising for the rhino protection groups.

JA: Can we expect wedding bells soon and little Gabrielides?

Carmen: I’d like that… if there’s any man I’ve seriously considered taking that step with, it’s Dion.

JA: What inspires this relationship?

A mutually-progressive spirit, Individuality, healthy competition & unconditional love.

JA: Carmel, how do you stay in such great shape?

Carmen: I eat according to my blood type and focus my gym workouts on cardio & toning routines.

JA: What’s the one thing people don’t know about you?

Carmen: I’m quite domesticated & love my me-time.

JA: What’s the biggest misconception about you?

Carmen: Not sure, don’t really care…

JA: How do you deal with overzealous fans?

Carmen: Treat them with patience & kindness… They mean well & I love them!

JA: How can your fans get hold of you?

Twitter: @CARMELFiSHER

Facebook: Carmel Fisher

By: @BonnieMes

Bonnie Meslane is an Entertainment and Fashion blogger for Jucy Africa, who happens to have a degree in Public Administration and Politics. She loves all things colourful, music, fashion and beautiful.

Location: SET Venue, Rosebank

Photography: @ThickLeeyonce

Styling: Bonnie Meslane and Sthembiso Mngadi

Make-up: Mina Shembe @Minashe

Stockists:

Fruitcake Vintage: 0110248005

Carmel & Dion’s own clothes.

Petite, beautiful and incredible performer are all words to describe songstress Nomfusi Gotyana-Tini.  As we celebrate love and all things rosy this Valentine’s month, we invited  Nomfusi and her husband Mike Tini for a sit down interview at Hunters Rest Antiques to find out about their lives and plans together.

Jucy Africa: Happy love month and welcome to Jucy Africa.

Nomfusi: Hi and thanks

 JA: How long have you known each other? Where did you meet, how did it happen?

Mike: We’ve known each other for nine years. We met at church,I picked up her lipgloss,then she came looking and asking for it,luckily I was the one who had picked it up, from there we started talking.

 JA: Briefly tell us about your up bringing?

Nomfusi: I grew up in a traditional home,my mother was a Sangoma. My house was very musical and I enjoyed it,hence I’m now a songbird *chuckles*

Mike: I was very active I played almost every sport, soccer,rugby,volley ball,cricket and athletics,hence I’m so tiny.

JA: How did Mike propose?

Nomfusi: We were sitting at his place then he just told me that he wanted to marry me, and of course I said yes.

 JA: How long have you been married?

We’ve been married now for 30 months.

JA: What makes your marriage what it is?

It is how it is because of supporting each other all the way,caring deeply about each other,knowing our differences and acknowledging them and that we are born different but most of all is the love of God in our lives.

JA: What are the challenges of marrying a well known person Mike?

Mike: Somehow the relationship becomes on the spotlight. She travels a lot and I also find myself attending these celebrity events,which I don’t really like,because I just don’t like to be on the spotlight,I’m quite shy.

 JA: What is the most romantic thing you ever did for one another?

Mike: Most romantic thing we did was to go for a weekend away to a beach house for our honeymoon.

 JA: What’s the most annoying trait each one of you has?

Mike: It annoys me when Nomfusi starts talking and never stops even when I ask her to stop.

Nomfusi: I don’t like it when Mike starts ignoring me when I’m talking.

JA: What do you admire the most about each other?

Nomfusi: I admire Mike’s spirit of Ubuntu, he’s very kind.

Mike: I admire Nomfusi’s strength and energy, from that tiny, cute body .

JA: You are both in the music business, Mike behind the scenes, what are the challenges and perks of being in this industry?

It’s like any other business,its has its ups and downs,but the most challenging thing is building a good network. The best thing though is that you are your own boss.

JA: Nomfusi, tell us about your new album Take Me Home.

Nomfusi: Take me home is a very beautiful album,it has been chosen as an album of the month on Drum Magazine. It’s got very strong vocals with different sounds from Pop to Soul.

JA: Why is it so different from your debut Kwazibani?

Nomfusi: It’s different because it has been produced to appeal more to the South African market.

 JA: Who did you work with?

Nomfusi: I worked with Robbie Malinga, DJ Clock, Mojalefa (Mjakes) Thebe and Bhut’ Ringo Madlingozi

JA: Which three South African artists would you like to work with in future?

Thandiswa Mazwai definitely, The Soil and Zuluboy and Zakes Bantwini! I love their music.

JA: Mike, when guys hit on your lady thinking she’s probably your sister or oblivious of your presence, how do you feel?

Mike: I get a bit angry,but I’m kinda getting used to it because it happens more often.

 JA: What do you guys do for fun?

Nomfusi: For fun we love bowling and going to the movies.

 JA: Any Tini juniors coming?

Mike: we not planing to have Tini juniors for the next two years.

 JA: Where can your fans catch you Nomfusi?

Nomfusi: I’ll be performing Bassline on the 9th of February and 1st of March at the State theatre.

For more info people can go to my Facebook page:Nomfusi, twitter: NomfusiSA or email info@Nomfusi.com

By: @BonnieMes

Bonnie Meslane is an Entertainment and Fashion blogger for Jucy Africa, who happens to have a degree in Public Administration and Politics. She loves all things colourful, music, fashion and beautiful.

Location: Hunters Rest Antiques, Newlands 0114772328

Photography: @ThickLeeyonce

Styling: Bonnie Meslane and Sthembiso Mngadi

Make-up: Mina Shembe @Minashe

Stockists:

Fruitcake Vintage: 0110248005

Dare To Differ- Fashion Kapitol

How often do you and your partner talk about money? According to research seven out of ten couples admit that money causes tension in their relationships. Which could possibly be the reason why most couples choose to avoid the topic entirely.  In the early stages of a relationship it is easy to avoid the topic. However if you and your partner plan on a long term relationship the topic about money is bound to crop up.  In a relationship couples should be open to talk about anything therefore money shouldn’t be an exception. Talking about money is never easy but remember that the sooner you start talking about it the better.

Here are few pointers that might help approach the issue:

• Make Sure the Issue is Really About Money. Too often, disagreements about money have little to do with money itself and more to do with issues of control, security, self esteem and love. Think carefully as you discuss money issues with your partner to make sure there isn’t a larger problem at the core. Be honest with yourself about how you personally feel about money. Ask yourself how other couples deal with money issues, talk to your friends they might share pointers that will help you in future. Money is a tangible part of a relationship, so it is easy to project emotional issues onto real money matters.

• Find a Neutral Time to Talk Money. Couples don’t usually talk openly about money. The goal with your new partner is to have a calm, relaxed discussion when there’s no particular money issue at hand. Sit down with your partner and  discuss different money scenarios. For example  how each of you might address or resolve the scenarios like being fired from a high paying job, lost credit card, the pros and cons of joint or separate accounts in a committed relationship, etc. If you have concerns about your new partner’s spending habits, financial decisions or role in managing money, express those thoughts during this talk as well.

Bear in mind that not all people are comfortable talking about money right away in a relationship. Be patient but persistent. If you bring up the topic several times and your partner still gets defensive, that might be a red flag that he or she may not be able to have honest communications about other things.

• Understand Your Partner’s Perspective. Studies show that when it comes to money, men and women often have different views. Women see it as a sign of security and stability. They like to save for emergencies and become worried when financial problems arise. Men take more risks with money and see money issues as a threat to their self esteem. Try to understand your partner’s perspective. Compromise is often essential. It is fine to disagree on some issues, but don’t let them get in the way of your overall  goals as a couple.

• Set Rules and Limits. Once you become a committed couple, it is important to work together to come up with general spending rules or limits. Couples can pick from a number of possibilities. For instance, you can agree on a threshold amount (like R100, R200), which you can spend without needing to report or consult one another. Above that, you need to discuss it before the item is purchased. Alternatively, for some couples it is important to keep a budget, which includes tracking all spending on a weekly or monthly basis. Remember to discuss these options with your partner first to make sure they are comfortable with them.

It is vital to compromise in a relationship, be aware of each others needs and make time for one another. Don’t let money ruin your relationship  being together is much more important. Communication should be a central part of your shared life and take some time to discuss matters that affect your relationship. While every relationship has to establish its own dynamic, allow for personal growth. If mutual respect and honesty are  fundamentals of your relationship, then compromise can be achieved without sacrificing connectedness.

Palesa Matlebyane is a lifestylewriter for JucyAfrica. She loves fashion, writing , reading and traveling. She is the shy type but can be loud! You can follow her on twitter @palesama

You have met this special person in your life, you have been seeing each other for sometime now and you are dying to share the good news with your parents. Meeting the parents is the next big in a relationship, because firstly it sends a clear signal to them that you two aren’t just hanging out and having fun. In my experience it is the most terrifying and liberating feeling but not as bad as telling your parents your are pregnant. Now that’s horrifying! When you decide to introduce him to your parents there is that niggling feeling of uncertainty- will they like him or does he meet the “criteria”  they have already set up. Believe it or not most  parents  have a special person they would like to us to date, you know that nerdy guy from church your mom can’t stop talking about or her  best friend’s son who is a doctor.

Meeting the parents is a good move to make for couples who plan to take their relationship to the next level. When you bring the important people in your life together, it’s meaningful, but it can also be stressful. You have to find a way that makes everyone comfortable and ultimately opens the door for future interactions.

Timing:

Is it the right time? Well, there is no better answer for this one you just have to go with your gut. It also depends on what type of relationship you have — and what type of relationship you want. If you know each other well enough, it might not be a good idea to introduce them to the new guy you just met at your colleague’s house party last week. Talk to your man  and make sure he’s comfortable meeting the family, too.

Preparation, Preparation, Preparation:

Prepare your folks so they have a picture of him. Give them some time and make sure you just don’t spring him on them without them knowing anything about him. If he is a taxi driver and you are concerned about what they might say about his career choice, there is a subtle way of telling them about what he does. For example, you can tell  them he is in transporting business and he is passionate about people. Like I said parents have perfect partners  for us in the back of their minds.

Cultures:

As black people we have a certain way of doing things, introducing your partner to your parents won’t be that easy. Culture and background therefore plays a very important role. Other families are very traditional they would prefer meeting your man once he is paid at least half of Ilobolo. Well, some families are less traditional than others they might be okay meeting with him. Some they will just say they acknowledge that he is in your life and they don’t have to meet him until you guys get hitched.

Now that  everyone has agreed to meet your beau. Remember, this is a big deal. So take the time to talk to him about his feelings and expectations. It’s important to try to make him feel as comfortable as possible. Keep the conversation casual but informative. Encourage him to talk about his background and share a little bit about himself (making sure he stay away from sensitive topics like religion and politics). Help guide the conversation to topics like sports, news and current events. It’s also fine to throw in  a conversation about music and reality TV. Stay away from subject matters that could potentially ignite the flames, like who’s right?  Yoh! I know my dad thinks he is always right and never wrong, so whenever him and my partner are having a debate I always tell him( my partner) to tone it down or it won’t end in this lifetime.

Meeting the parents can be a very daunting task, if you decide to do it think about it carefully. Remember to always stay calm and if it doesn’t go well, give it some time they might turn  around someday. Good Luck!

Palesa Matlebyane is a lifestylewriter for JucyAfrica. She loves fashion, reading, writing and traveling. She is the shy type but can be loud. You can follow her on twitter @palesama

Everyone longs to have someone special in their lives but what do you do if  cupid hasn’t been that friendly to you. Online dating could just be the solution. It has become one of the most popular methods of finding a mate. The reality is, people today use their computers to communicate online with and not just to respond to e-mail’s. Online dating is easily accessible and gives an individual the ability to pick and choose who they are looking for thanks to detailed search engine criteria, making it truly the future of dating now and for some time to come. It also enables an individual to broaden their resources in order to make an ideal ‘match’ and long gone are the days of hoping to find someone locally. Distance is no longer an issue as it once was and people are looking for instant gratification thanks to online chatting forums, instant messaging and online videos. A user can very quickly assess if they like an individual and are interested in them by their looks and how they communicate on screen.

The pros about internet dating are obvious – you meet someone and are happy! Or, if they are not the ‘mate’ you were looking for, you make a friend or several friends for life, and if you are really lucky, you find your ‘soul-mate’. It doesn’t get much better than that. However, there is a downside to internet dating and it’s that perhaps you are always looking at the grass as always being greener on the other side. Perhaps there are too many choices, too many people to meet, and it keeps you from being able to form a deep and committed relationship with someone. Your fear and preoccupation that there just might be ‘someone else’ out there may just keep you from the one who is truly right for you and is standing right in front of you.

Personally, I think relationships are  supposed to be about two people who like each other and want to be together no matter what age, gender or race. Just like everything else in life online dating has its pros and cons. You sit at your computer and go through dozens of profiles to find a person you want to meet. Then, when you do actually meet sometimes there is no chemistry. Part of the problem with online dating is that people have unrealistic expectations. They go into it thinking they will find the man (or woman) of their dreams just because they joined the latest awesome dating site. However, I don’t think that being online makes it any easier to meet that person; it just makes it easier to meet people. The fact of the matter is that you still have to meet the person that is right for you which might still take a little time.

Ultimately, online dating has made it easy to find someone, the number of people whom you can meet, the convenience of finding someone without having to leave your home that makes internet dating so popular for not just a younger generation but for all ages, young and old. It’s the wave of the future and a future that is here to stay.

Here are some of the reasons why people choose online dating:

You don’t have time: This is a classic reason for joining a dating site. Some people are so busy with work or other life responsibilities that there is simply no time to go out and meet people/date.

Physical Appearance: like I said , when it comes to dating people set certain standards, so some people may feel intimidated that they don’t look pretty enough so meeting people online may be an easier option for them.

They don’t have game: Common term for guys- which then means they need some sort of an agent to come in between.

They are fed up of putting themselves out there:After a while, going out to bars to meet people gets frustrating.You’re never sure what anyone is thinking in the Meet Market-it sometimes feels like you’re spinning your wheels.

They want the singles envinroment: On a dating site, you can avoid the mystery you usually have to deal with.  You never know what’s going on in someone’s head when you’re hitting on them, naturally people on dating sites are looking, and they won’t mind if you hit on them or contact them.