You have met this special person in your life, you have been seeing each other for sometime now and you are dying to share the good news with your parents. Meeting the parents is the next big in a relationship, because firstly it sends a clear signal to them that you two aren’t just hanging out and having fun. In my experience it is the most terrifying and liberating feeling but not as bad as telling your parents your are pregnant. Now that’s horrifying! When you decide to introduce him to your parents there is that niggling feeling of uncertainty- will they like him or does he meet the “criteria” they have already set up. Believe it or not most parents have a special person they would like to us to date, you know that nerdy guy from church your mom can’t stop talking about or her best friend’s son who is a doctor.
Meeting the parents is a good move to make for couples who plan to take their relationship to the next level. When you bring the important people in your life together, it’s meaningful, but it can also be stressful. You have to find a way that makes everyone comfortable and ultimately opens the door for future interactions.
Is it the right time? Well, there is no better answer for this one you just have to go with your gut. It also depends on what type of relationship you have — and what type of relationship you want. If you know each other well enough, it might not be a good idea to introduce them to the new guy you just met at your colleague’s house party last week. Talk to your man and make sure he’s comfortable meeting the family, too.
Preparation, Preparation, Preparation:
Prepare your folks so they have a picture of him. Give them some time and make sure you just don’t spring him on them without them knowing anything about him. If he is a taxi driver and you are concerned about what they might say about his career choice, there is a subtle way of telling them about what he does. For example, you can tell them he is in transporting business and he is passionate about people. Like I said parents have perfect partners for us in the back of their minds.
As black people we have a certain way of doing things, introducing your partner to your parents won’t be that easy. Culture and background therefore plays a very important role. Other families are very traditional they would prefer meeting your man once he is paid at least half of Ilobolo. Well, some families are less traditional than others they might be okay meeting with him. Some they will just say they acknowledge that he is in your life and they don’t have to meet him until you guys get hitched.
Now that everyone has agreed to meet your beau. Remember, this is a big deal. So take the time to talk to him about his feelings and expectations. It’s important to try to make him feel as comfortable as possible. Keep the conversation casual but informative. Encourage him to talk about his background and share a little bit about himself (making sure he stay away from sensitive topics like religion and politics). Help guide the conversation to topics like sports, news and current events. It’s also fine to throw in a conversation about music and reality TV. Stay away from subject matters that could potentially ignite the flames, like who’s right? Yoh! I know my dad thinks he is always right and never wrong, so whenever him and my partner are having a debate I always tell him( my partner) to tone it down or it won’t end in this lifetime.
Meeting the parents can be a very daunting task, if you decide to do it think about it carefully. Remember to always stay calm and if it doesn’t go well, give it some time they might turn around someday. Good Luck!
Palesa Matlebyane is a lifestylewriter for JucyAfrica. She loves fashion, reading, writing and traveling. She is the shy type but can be loud. You can follow her on twitter @palesama